Photo Diary: Just like the old times

Beginnings are always special; you might find it scary but the mystery of the future makes you just want to go on with it and find out what might happen along the way. Friendship is like that as well. When you’ve been friends with someone for a couple of years already, it doesn’t follow that you will be forever friends. On the other hand, it also doesn’t mean that you can’t be forever friends, because you really don’t know what the future holds for everyone. 

3 years ago, Yvette, Ces, Bea, Abby, Renee, Shaiy, Corie, Mel and Gaddi(MIA) crossed each others’ paths. After 3 years they are ALL still together despite the distance, the differences, the new bunch of people in each other’s lives, their crazy busy schedules and the whatnots of life. Three years ago they asked each other to always be in their lives, to always make time to update each other and fortunately, they were all true to their words.

And just like the old times, Abby and I having our houses near Northwalk waited for everyone to arrive almost after 2 hours. Luckily, Bea and Cess were around after an hour of waiting for them. Abby and I had the time to catch up with each other’s lives. I used to always know everything about her since we both go to the same university and I used to be an Accountancy student. When I shifted, I only knew some bits of information about her. I still think that it was a good move for others to be late, yet again, since we had the chance to have this heart-to-heart talk that we used to always have back in first year college. 

I still remember when we all used to text each other lengthy messages during Christmas, New Year’s or one’s birthday and go all about how much we appreciate and love each other. Or write long testimonials in Friendster. Now, even though we just get simple hi’s and hello’s from each other it still matters to us because it just screams that we still think about our friendship and that we care.

It really is hard to maintain a relationship with someone, much less with a clique in high school. You really don’t have the assurance of the cliched word forever since you do not even know if it’s true to it’s meaning. The only thing that can and may prove that it exists is time— time will always, in all ways be our friend since it measures how much your words and actions mean through the years.

 

We were conversing about an issue and then suddenly I went like, “I wish that we would all just live in a subdivision then Corie will design our houses, then while we’re having coffee just like this but with our own children Cess’ would suddenly be called by her network to cover something, then we will just see Shaiy model in front of the coffee shop while Yvette manages her, and then Renee will audit all our huge accounts, while Abby will take care of the accounting of our money, Bea would be touring us when we go around the world when we have the means to do so already, while me and Michelle try to do our thing in the media, I make films and she’d be part of it and everyone would have a cameo.”

Just like the old times, we’d be having a mirror shot whenever someone’s bringing a camera and there’d be a mirror. Back when Instagram didn’t exist and point-and-shoot cameras were so mainstream, we would all fill it with photos of us. And thank goodness for 3.5 megapixel cameras back then, we were able to treasure worthwhile moments of our friendship through the years.

Just like the old times, Bea would be the forever alone in our group. BUT, in reality she really isn’t. She is our group’s walking energy, she just never rans out of it and we love her dearly for that. Getting bullied by your friends just means, in our group, that we love her. 

It dawned on me that nothing really is permanent in this world no matter how much I ask and pray for our friendship to remain the same. Because no matter what, no matter how much we try, it wouldn’t. And I’m not saying this to defy what I just said before, I am just being realistic here. I used to be the girl who was so so idealistic about everything in this world. When I was in high school and first year college, I already had all these grand and bold ideas about what would my life be like after 10 years or what. I never entertained the idea, more like, the fact that a lot of things would change for us through time. Little did I know, life really doesn’t work that way. It just doesn’t even though you are motivated but not driven about it. 

10 years from now, I pictured us in a compound in the city that we love, having the time of our lives and everything’s working perfectly for all of us. I pictured us living like what a gang in a sitcom does, HIMYM-esque, or F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I think at one point it’s good to daydream about such, but sometimes you’d just wake up and realise that it’s not going to happen in real life. That friendship is really messy, that it’s hard to balance your time and let others get to know the little things that are happening around you, about you. I am not even certain if I’d be friends 10 years from now with all of my high school friends, but I believe it can if you just be persistent about it. If you’re that devoted about your relationship with your friends.

Despite friendship’s uncertainties, the petering conversations that you’d all have in the future because of the lack of things in common to chatter about just like you used to back when you’re all just in the same school, and all the other factors that might affect your relationship, I’m still positive that something will always bound us together. And those are the memories that we all shared together. It can persist through a memory of an old song that you guys used to sing in the karaoke, it can persist through a photograph taken when you all had your first sleepover or when you went out of town for the very first time, or when you all see someone you used to despise, or when you go to a coffee shop that you all used to go to for a hang out. The chains might get loose, but I know my friends will always be my friends no matter what. 

That’s why you guys are in my life.

And now I’m leaving you all with a photo of my friends Renee and Bea, the Twins in our group. With all the sad things that I’ve written in this post, I think it deserves to commence with a crazy photo of this two best friends that remains as such despite LIFE’s happenings. :)

Eternal Bittersweet Struggle

It’s hard to figure out what is it that you really, really really want in life. Denials, peer pressure, practicality, incapability, below sea level self-esteem, staying in your comfort zone, etc(end of thinking capacity)— these are just some of the things that hinder us from knowing what’re our hearts’ greatest and deepest aspirations and dreams.

Luckily, I discovered mine.

Last night though, I browsed through this creative journal called Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith and while browsing I found myself getting lost in certain pages in the journal. To the point that I was trying to question myself as to what kind of job will I land to after college, are the things that I know in writing enough, will shifting from a business course to an artsy-fartsy one do me any good? What am I really good at? Am I good at anything? Am I good enough?

This particular page is the total feeling that I’ve felt last night. Blank. But then, it had me thinking. Maybe, this is just a phase in my life that I need to undergo through so as to realize that I have to learn new things more and embrace the changes in this world, but remain to be who I really am. If you don’t get what I’m trying to say, then call me obscure. Because truly, I am.

I also noticed that I haven’t written anything in this specific page, the page of good thoughts. Where are them good thoughts at? Sure, there are some good thoughts that are running through my mind from time to time, but someday I will write some good thoughts that’ll be worthy enough for this precious page.

I am a mess. And I need to clean myself up. No, not literally… You know what I mean. Like I said, it’s a phase. Being messed up makes you realize a lot of things. And only then will you start to declutter your life and start anew and fresh.

I found my happy place in writing a few years ago. I was on the verge of quitting last night but with putting too much thought to it I learned that it’s too precious to quit something that’s really close to my heart and not to mention, my passion. So no, I am not giving up writing. Not ever. I am now leaving you with a cheesy sign that I made from the journal. Don’t judge me… I’m not creative.

Don’t ever, ever give up your dream. It might be rainy now but the sun will shine down on you eventually and remember that there is a sunshine that never fails that will lead you to the road to sunshine. :)

Life is a work of art.

Fashion holds an important place in my heart and I don’t feel the need to explain why. It’s just for me, I believe that what a person wears tells something about who s/he is, and what s/he wants to be in his or her life. And it’s not a sin to be wanting to look good, whether you want to please others or most especially yourself.

When you actually dress up and style for yourself, don’t you just feel good? I mean, fashion can’t and will not solve the world’s problems in just one snap but it sure can make the world a better place to live. In what sense, if you may ask? It has the power to save a bad day, it makes life less than dull, it defies routine and it being monochromic, it awakens a person’s cravings for things they didn’t even know existed. Because fashion itself is art.

I can’t blame people for finding fashion something as absurd, bizarre, a waste of time and money, useless or crazy— but as a fashion virtuoso, in my defense against people who judge fashion in general, I guess their power to imagine and appreciate things in a whole lot of perspective is quite lacking or not yet nurtured. In fashion, appreciation is one of the biggest things to consider because people who are not involved in the fashion world do not have even an inch of idea of how people work in the industry. It’s crazy, it’s excruciating, it’s frustrating and most of all, having a time for their personal life is one great luxury for them. And that’s rare.

What i’m trying to say is, some people should learn how to atleast get why fashion-forward people are mainly crazy about fashion because that’s (our) their (us) passion. Again, it sounds so cliché but it’s the real deal. If you really have a passion, an aspiration or a dream in life, you’d be totally crazy about it. Crazy, in a good sense. You make things work for you and your dream. You make it happen by letting it happen.

In my case, it’s me, fashion and writing-photography. Life is so much better if you learn to appreciate the art. I always choose quality over quantity. Fashion is the art to my heart. What’s yours?